Through the Tears and Pain


“In tears we saw you sinking, We watched you fade away,

Our hearts were almost broken, you fought so hard to stay,

But when we saw you sleeping, so peaceful from the pain,

We could not wish you back again, To suffer that again.”

Yesterday was the first Christmas of many I will spend without my mom.  There was much sorrow and many tears.  I took a butterfly to her grave.  Her “final” resting place here on earth.  I wept over the grave knowing she was not there.  But the memories I have from the day I sat her urn in the ground, dropped my note inside the velvet bag, and scooped the first shovel of dirt on top of her remains.  These memories were vivid and replayed in my mind.  I flashed back to being a 5 year old child who sat their with her mother the day we put my father in the ground.  Freezing cold winter and a folded flag.  I looked over and saw my grandparents grave.  I was there for that too.  Barely a teenager on that hot summer day in August as we lay our dear Emma Lee in the ground. Pink flowers surrounded the casket.  My grandfather soon followed that next dreary winter… through the tears and through the pain.  These memories still remain. 


The above quote is something my husband said to me yesterday.  The pain, He knows I can handle it because HE is able to handle it.  My strength comes from the Lord, not by my own will.   Missing my mom will be a constant battle day by day.  As Chris Tomlin says in one of my favorite songs, “I know who goes before me, I know who stands behind. The God of Angel armies is always by my side.”  So even on my darkest days (like yesterday) and in my darkest hours, God is by my side.  His hands are holding me always.  I may not always feel them, I may not always want them.  But they are always there for me because of His faithfulness. 

I love you Mom. I always will. I know your first Christmas in Heaven was amazing. 





A Gift to Heaven

The butterflies have flown.  A part of me went to Heaven with my mother the day she died.  Releasing the butterflies, I sent another piece of me to her.  


To: Mom Love: Your Daughter

To: Mom
Love: Your Daughter

My mother had a hard life.  It was filled with emptiness, sadness, and joy.  She took such pride in her children and grandchildren.  Her face would light up when one of us kids would open a gift from her on Christmas or our birthdays.  That is one way she showered her love on us was through gifts.  My mother was not a rich woman by monetary means.  She gave all she had to make others happy, which wasn’t much.  She loved to receive presents just as much as she loved to give them.  Every Christmas, Mother’s Day, and birthday she would anxiously await her gifts.  Even if it was just a card, it meant a lot to her.  She knew you were thinking about her and it made her feel loved. 

Last Sunday night our family filled up those balloons with the butterfly cut outs from all of my Pink Zebra business cards. This was in celebration to my recent promotion to Manager.   We released them in her honor and sent her a gift to Heaven.  Did they make it there.  I believe so.  I know how much she loved gifts.  Even though she is not here with me, she is not gone.  My mother is with Jesus, dancing, laughing, and that is the best gift of all.  Eternal life through Jesus Christ.  I miss my mother more than words can say. I know one day I will see her again because of that free gift that was given to me back in 2004 of Eternal Life. 

Christmas will be hard this year.  Holding back the tears has been nearly impossible.  My wonderful husband and children understand the loss and pain.  They miss her too.  I pray for those of you who have someone special in Heaven who you will be missing with all of your heart this Christmas. 


Butterfly release


What are some ways you remember your loved ones during this Holiday season?  I would love to hear from you and pray for you.

IPhone Pics 1005


Continuing our 12 Days of Christmas!

Continuing our 12 Days of Christmas!

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On the 8th Day of Christmas….

On the 8th Day of Christmas....

Order a carton of Sprinkles, get a wood wick candle making kit FREE!

Time to Let them Fly!

So a while back I posted about one of my goals that I had set for myself.  This goal was to become a manager at Pink Zebra before the one year anniversary of my mother’s death.  I have been saving every punch out of my business cards to put in balloons to release at her grave for this celebration! 


I have dedicated my entire Pink Zebra business to my mother’s memory and to the Lord.

My business verse!


I am very excited to announce that I have been promoted to manager!!  What I set myself up to accomplish in 5 months was accomplished in less than 4!  I am very excited!  I have the most amazing team of men and women who are steadily growing their own business and adding extra monthly income into their lives.  I love seeing my fellow Zebras set goals and achieve them!  I am very proud!


So I new I had everything I needed to be promoted the last day of November.  Pink Zebra runs promotions between the 1st and the 10th of the month along with Pink Dollars and checks.  Very exciting time of the month for us zebras!!

I was awarded another $75 in Pink Dollars this month.  Pink Dollars can be used to purchase PZ product.  I usually spend these on catalogs, supplies, etc. Items that do not normally go to my PSV.  To date I have earned at total of $652.00 in Pink Dollars!! That is just since August.  There is another $400 Pink Dollar bonus for becoming a manager that I am looking forward to earning soon!

I could not have picked a better company to be a part of.  I truly love my job and my hard work is paying off.  There are not many jobs out there that reward you for your hard work! 

And my team of one is now up to 17! 

If you are interested in a life changing business, I would love for you to join my team.  Full time, part time, it doesn’t matter. Pink Zebra gives you the flexibility you need for those important things in life.  For example.. here is a picture of my daughter’s latest drama performance.  I was able to be a part of this amazing production (lights and sound) and still work my business.  I don’t have to miss out on the things in life that are important to me. Thank God!

A.D.D. Acting Company Presents – The Least of These and A Christian Carol



I will post with pictures later when I let those butterflies fly!! Love you mom and miss you so!  May your legacy remain always.

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Day Six of our Twelve Days of Christmas – 15% Off!!


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Merry Christmas and God Bless!!


And here’s a little Christmas Recipe to get you in the Christmas mood!


On the 4th Day of Christmas

On the 4th Day of Christmas

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